Think your dog is spoiled? You ain’t seen nothing.
A new television show on Nat Geo Wild throws a spotlight on pet owners who go to extreme (some might say psychotic) lengths to pamper their animals. Spoiled Rotten Pets profiles things like day spas for pigs, dog psychics, and Bark-Mitzvahs (yep, Bar Mitzvahs for dogs).
After watching some previews for the show, we’re not sure it’s fair to call these pets spoiled rotten. That suggests that the animals have a bad attitude because of the special treatment they’re getting. In fact, they don’t seem to give a shit about whatever it is their crazy owners are up to.
But that’s what pampering your pet is all about, isn’t it? It’s not really about the animals. The dog doesn’t like wearing a sweater. The cat won’t get her feelings hurt if you forget her birthday. The pig doesn’t care whether he’s at a spa or a sty (as long as you keep the food pellets coming). It’s all about making the humans feel good.
Of course, most people spoil their pet to some degree. Still, there’s a difference between a little harmless mollycoddling and the sort of bizarre behavior featured on Nat Geo’s new show. To find out where your dog falls on the spectrum, take the following test.
For each of these things you do – or have done at least once in the past – give yourself the specified number of points. Add up your points and see where your dog falls on the Rottenness Scale below.
Spoiled Dog Test
| Points | Do You… ? |
|---|---|
| 1 | Let your dog on the furniture |
| 1 | Give your dog treats (+1 point if 3 or more treats per day) |
| 1 | Take your dog along for rides |
| 1 | Let your dog sleep on the bed |
| 1 | Buy your dog toys |
| 1 | Give your dog soft and/or organic dog food |
| 1 | Give your dog filtered water (+1 point if it’s bottled water) |
| 2 | Save leftovers for your dog |
| 2 | Cook for your dog, or order extra food at a restaurant |
| 2 | Celebrate your dog’s birthday |
| 3 | Go for a drive for the sole purpose of taking your dog for a ride |
| 3 | Avoid taking vacations that would require you to kennel your dog or get a sitter |
| 3 | Arrange play dates for your dog |
| 4 | Dress your dog up for Halloween |
| 4 | Routinely dress your dog just for fun |
| 4 | Hang a stocking for your dog at Christmas |
| 5 | Maintain a blog, Facebook page, or other online presence for your dog (+1 point if you post updates in the dog’s voice) |
| 5 | Have your dog on a raw, vegan, or other trendy diet |
| 5 | Send your dog to a doggy day spa |
| 10 | Consult a pet psychic |
| 10 | Throw a “Bark Mitzvah” or similar cultural event for your dog |
Rottenness Scale
| 0-5 | Down-to-Earth Doggy |
| 6-10 | Slightly Spoiled |
| 11-15 | Solidly Spoiled |
| 16-20 | Rotten to the (Dog) Bone |
| 21+ | Full on Doggy Diva |
How rotten is your perfect little angel? Feel free to share (we won’t judge).
Spoiled Rotten Pets premieres on Saturday, April 21 (check your local listings). For more information, check out this Reuters article and the following funny video promo: