Are Smart Phones Becoming Man’s New Best Friend?

Bad news, doggies and kitties: One in five pet owners would rather be swiping a touchscreen than petting you. That’s according to a recent HuffPost/YouGov poll, which asked pet owners which they would rather be without for a month – their smartphone or their pet. A sizable minority (20 percent) said they would rather give up their pet.

Woman Taking Selfie with Dog
One in five pet owners is an idiot.

In a way, these results are perfectly understandable. While we love our pets, we’ve come to rely on our iPhones, Androids, and whatnot. Without a phone, many of us wouldn’t be able to hold a job, find our way around town, or get laid. Thus, disconnecting for a whole month is simply unthinkable.

On the bright side, 67 percent of respondents chose their pets over their phones (13 percent were unsure). Obviously these people appreciate the unconditional devotion and love pets have to offer, and the simple, stress-relieving pleasure of spending time with them. There’s no app for that.


Earlier, we posed the question of whether you would be able to forgive your dog for eating a big wad of cash. That actually seems like a minor infraction compared to what happened to one woman in the UK. After she fell down the stairs in a drunken stupor and knocked herself out cold, her dog actually chewed off a good chunk of her face. The now-disfigured woman not only claims to hold no ill feelings toward the dog (which sadly had to be put down), but actually seems grateful. She figures being hospitalized probably saved her from dying of alcoholism. In that sense, I guess you could call this the world’s most bizarre intervention.

ABC News ran an article on extreme dog grooming, and lo and behold, it wasn’t just a puff piece. Rather than just showing you pictures of dogs done up to look like Elmo or Justin Bieber, it actually points out that these extreme makeovers could be hazardous to your pet. The pet grooming biz is completely unregulated in the U.S., and some of those eye-popping dye jobs look anything but natural. Fans of this goofy trend justify it by saying it helps them form a closer connection with their dogs. Oh please. If dogs could talk, they would probably offer a different opinion.

When you see a post titled How Well Do You Know Your Dog? you naturally assume it’s going to be full of facts proving that you actually don’t know shit. But no. This piece from Scientific American points out that almost 90 percent of dog owners can identify their pet by smelling a blanket. The other 10 percent are looking to trade their dog for a smartphone.